Some years ago, late at night in the garden, I fervently purged word after word into my journal. Wide awake with a restless desperation I scribbled seed after seed of intent of what I wanted to be.
Pure. Sattvic. Light. Loving. Kind. Generous
So why, after long nights of harvesting my intentions under a new moon, showering in start dust and prostrating upon the bare earth did I not really feel any better or different?
Because my search for happiness was really an attempt at escaping shame.
I would admire an elegant stance, a tall physique and droop into my bad posture. I would swallow my guilt while cheering on the humanitarians of the community. I felt like I wasn’t doing enough, trying hard enough or motivated enough to be a better me. I binged on burpees to sweat out my lazy side. I feasted on juice to fast from my inner glutton. I exhausted myself to prove that I was a hard worker.
And I still believed that there was something really, really wrong with me.
Trying to change from a feeling of lack is like complaining your way to happiness. It feels lame and it just doesn’t work.
Eventually I figured out that I wasn’t all that bad and there was no way out but in. My ‘inner work’ looks a little different the days because it is different. It comes from a place of fullness rather than lack. I want to share one particular practice with you that I love.
When I catch myself receding into victim mode or obediently following my fears I let loose in my journal, let myself speak out and it often results in a solo dance party and celebration of life. By claiming what is already alive within, this practice wakes up inner resources, dormant from a long life of shame and blame. I welcome you to try it anytime you are playing small or just want to feel fucking fantastic!
Reclaim your Superpowers:
Find a comfortable space where you can sprawl, scrawl and make some noise. Bring your favorite pen and something to write on. Close your eyes and breathe into whatever is alive within.
The first step is to write down “I lovingly clear the shame around my ______ and I claim my __________.
The second step is to whisper it to yourself. Let it build some inner momentum.
The third step is to celebrate it in a clear and authentic voice.
Here are a few examples of the process:
Write: I lovingly clear the shame around my body and I claim my beautiful feminine (or masculine) form.
Whisper: say it a few times, sweet little loving whispers to your Self.
Repeat Boldly: chant it, speak it, celebrate it in a clear and authentic voice. (this is not a defensive tone)
Write: I lovingly clear the shame around my artistic pursuits and I claim my creative genius and share who I AM with the world.
Whisper: Whisper it to yourself. Let the little whispers of inner knowing make you smile.
Say it, Sing it, Feel It: Loud and clear, hell yeahs and Hallelujahs are welcome!
Write: I lovingly clear the shame around my finances and I claim my abundance and ability to give freely.
Whisper: Like sweet nothings to yourself…
Say it: Celebrate, chant, even dance it out.
You can use a timer and give yourself 15 minutes (or longer if you like) to go wild.
Close by lying down to integrate. Take deep soothing breaths in and out of your pelvis and relax for another 10 minutes. Repeat this exercise as often as you like.
I would love to hear about your experience! Send me an email or let me know in the comments section below how it went for you. Do you know someone who might benefit from this practice? Pass it on! Want to celebrate more of your Self? Join my mailing list for weekly exercises and insights into wholehearted living.
Love and heart hugs,